Spinning Failure

Growing up, I occasionally thought I might try to get into writing satire. I was an avid reader of Mad Magazine, and thought being a writer for them, Saturday Night Live, or some similar production might be fun.

I bring this up because it just became clear to me that I wouldn’t have stood a chance as a satire writer, not given the amount of talent out there. Some minds are able to look at one set of facts, or a given situation, and come up with a completely off-the-wall, bizarre, and hysterical scenario or interpretation that leaves people in stitches. Think of the folks that wrote Wedding Crashers. No way I could compete with that sort of satirical and hilarious writing.

Or, a bit closer to home, this GEM.

This is the report of the Eagleton Institute of Politics on New Jersey’s experiment with government financing for state legislative races. The report is satire at it’s best – I don’t think that in my wildest and most unhinged writings I could have written a report with 18 key findings, categoriezed as follows:

Finding 1 states the experiment was a success and should be continued (they know it was a success because the candidates who got government money said it was a success).

Findings 2-14 document the problems and failings of the program, such as being too bureaucratic, penalizing candidates who fail to get government money, and generally being cumbersome and difficult for candidates.

Findings 15-18 explain continued need to fund the program and keep in place the bureaucracy that runs it.

Priceless stuff, Lorne Michaels and William Gaines have nothing on these guys!